summer sun

the last couple weeks in s.cali have been june-gloomy, and even if the sun did peek out in the afternoons, i've been stuck in a dimly-lit office for the last few weeks so, even though i'm home for summer break, i haven't gotten much sun exposure yet. (sorry about the running-on of that sentence). anyway, so given the above, sunblock was the last thing on my mind when preparing for the Lakers rally yesterday. I knew temperatures were gonna reach the mid-'70s, i knew i was wearing a tank top (kobe jersey), i knew i would be sitting in an open-air stadium from 9:30am-1:30pm (prime sun-bathing hours), and i've been trying to break my awful habit of not wearing sunblock for a couple of years already. so why did it NOT occur to me to put some on yesterday morning?!?!

maybe because i had to wake up at 5AM to leave by 5:30 to get there by 6ish to wait in a line for ~3 hours before finally getting a seat inside the LA Memorial Coliseum and I was more concerned with making sure there were toilets nearby and that i had snacks to munch on than i was with preventing myself from getting a sunburn on a day that i thought would be gloomy anyway.

so naturally, the sun came out in full force to welcome the lakers to a well-deserved summer break. of course. yeah, my friends and i got pretty decent seats, but those 2-3 hours that we spent sitting there in the coliseum, mingling with la raza, waiting for the lakers to wrap up the parade route and get to the coliseum were pretty brutal. we were sweltering, and after hitting up the concession stands (which took for-EVER because the cashiers labored with no sense of urgency or haste regardless of the lines of potential rioters growing longer and longer) we were also broke because a bottle of water cost FIVE DOLLARS! yeah, they were ice cold, but they should've been bottles of Fiji water for that price!! crystal geyser pshhhhh.

so anyway, the parade continued, the lakers arrived,


the rally started, and before i could get my fill of lakers-love

the rally had ended and i was suffocating in a parking lot. hordes of cars tried to exit via the same paths that the genius LAPD routed the throngs of fans who came by foot. that was awesome.

surprisingly, less than 2 hours later i was back home, relaxing and showering when i saw that my shoulders were RED! like, SUPER RED!! like... my skin went from white to black, except that the black was red. OMG..... insane! i'd never seen my skin so red before! the rest of the afternoon and evening, i couldn't take my mind off of my burned shoulders. i would pull my shirt off my shoulder to show everyone the crazy burn i got. it was kind of funny. it was also strangely funny feeling the drastic temperature difference between my upper arm and my shoulders. my shoulders were literally hot to the touch. eventually, the funniness wore off and the pain set in. forget being hot to the touch, it was straight up painful to the touch now. any clothing that brushed over my shoulders felt like millions of pins pricking me. lifting my arms over shoulder height felt like my skin was ripping. those sensations continued into today. no matter how much aloe vera gel i've slathered on today, my burned shoulders find no relief.

like i said, i don't think i've EVER gotten burned so badly before. i usually tan without burning. what happened this time? *lightbulb* boston. yup, i'm exposing my sun-deprived-for-9-months skin to california sun. idiot! when i came back from boston in may, i came back with the palest skin i'd had in yeeeeeeears. so of course, my first real encounter with the sun left me burned. ouch. welcome to summer.
this picture does NOT do the redness of my shoulders any justice!

what oh what to write about?

i'm itching to post a new blog entry, but i just don't have anything to write about. or, nothing worth writing about. or, nothing worth elaborating about. ughhhhhhh. is my life that boring? am i just not an interesting person? N always has good stuff on her blog, but she's much deeper than i am. that must be it. i'm just not much of a thinker. that was always blatantly obvious if i were to ever compare myself to my brother. and living with N has only confirmed it. i just don't... think. like it would expend too much valuable energy or something, as if watching the Hills or the Lakers was so much more energy-expending-worthy..... really?

this is embarassing. my new blog entry has gotten off to a great start.

okay, re-do.

*thinking*

yeah no, i've got nothing.
not even a lakers or angels rant, how strange is that?
lately people have been IMing/chatting/texting me like crazy thanks to the lakers crazy jekyll/hyde style they've recently adopted, but i can't even muster up enough energy to FAKE interest in the subject. i guess i'm tired of it. my life doesn't revolve around it anymore, therefore its not really worth talking about.

so what is? whats going on with me thats worth broadcasting to the whole world wide web about?

i'm flying home in 2 days. yessssssssssss!
as great of an experience as it is leaving my comfort bubble (aka socal) i'm super duper excited to go home.

i'm really looking forward to seeing my family, and especially my nieces and nephew. i think i would be fine if i never had kids of my own, because the 3 kids in my life now are so amazing and so precious to me.

yeah, this is worth talking about. i'm dedicating the next few entries to them. one for each of them. stay tuned.

when it comes to homework- fail!

i don't know what my problem is, but i HATE doing homework!!
ok, i know nobody LIKES to do homework, but people can still force themselves to do it. not me. even though part of my final grade depends on it? yeah... still no.

okay to clarify, when i say 'homework' i'm referring to weekly problem sets. for example, in this one particular class i'm taking right now- we have a total of 11 HW sets for the semester adding up to 10% of our final grade. basically, we had a HW set due every thursday (which made my wednesdays extremely stressful).

think back to the last math class you took in high school or something. remember how your teacher would say something like "okay section 6.4 do problems 1-31 odd." and it would only be the odd problems because the solutions in the back of the book were only for the odd problems! so, you do your homework and because you're able to check your answer, you know whether you're learning and doing problems correctly or not. i LOVE that. that's the kind of homework i have no problem doing!!

so now, in the classes i'm taking these days, we don't get solutions in the back of our textbooks. all we have in the back of our textbooks are references to other related books that don't have solutions either. so when my professor hands out a new HW set, it's just another HW set that i know i won't actually do well on.

the way i see it- what's the point of spending HOURS on some homework assignment not even worth 1% of my final grade, when i won't even know if i'm doing it right or wrong. i don't want to spend that time learning something WRONG- that just doesn't make sense to me. it's much more profitable to me to work towards a correct answer.

i think i discovered this in a thermo class. i was totally struggling with the material, not knowing if i was doing anything right. but then a fellow classmate gave me the solutions manual!! oh man and those solutions had the step-by-step solutions to many of my assigned problems. so, i started to work through my HW sets with the solutions manual- but i didn't just copy it, i digested it, understood it, etc. so even on the problems where the solutions were NOT provided, i had gotten enough practice in to work through those problems correctly too. so obviously i did well on the homeworks, but i also did really well on the exams (how's the highest grade in the class sound?! booyah!). so the problem with not having the solutions is that you're not sure if you're learning correctly or not and then you feel SO vulnerable because you have no positive OR negative feedback!

feedback?? WHOA *REVELATION* the solution is feedback!!
this class i'm in, is on control systems. you have open loop and closed loop systems. the closed loop systems include a feedback element that the open loop lacks. so, ideally you have your command, and some input and you'll get some output. kind of hit or miss. if you add a feedback element into that system, you will know how much error you have and can control that error to zero. this is the problem with assigning homework without the solutions. the student has NO feedback, and so error will skyrocket! however, if you give your student some feedback (what the correct answer SHOULD be), they can keep working to control that error to zero. WOW. maybe i HAVE learned something after all...

so to any teachers out there- why not provide solutions to homework problems? that's when you want them to learn, right? leave the testing to the exams.

when it rains...

i'm pretty sure Mother Nature is done with the snow, but she's not letting us move on to the warmer weather just yet. we've had a nice rain the last few days. it would be a downpour like this that would clear the smog from LA skies (for at least a day or two). although it hasn't gotten quite torrential, it has still been cathartic.

this seems like the perfect time to purge. to purge old problems, negative feelings, poor health, and the general blues.

it hasn't been easy in the new city, new dwelling, new housemates, new church life, new school, and new (more like lack of) friends. but in with the new and out with the old, right?

the city- my general dislike for Boston has subdued. i don't exactly love it here, but i don't mind it so much anymore. i've gotten into a more regular routine with classes and such and so i've managed to find coffee shops and places i like to study in. i've also gotten more interested in discovering more restaurants and cool shops in different parts of town, so i think i will also start to like the city more as i find more of those places. the only problem is that i need people to explore with- see 'friends' topic below.

my dwelling/housemates- so, there's been somewhat of a purging in my living situation. no major problems to deal with, just the usual misunderstandings and communication issues that come with any new living situation. most importantly, the desire for a prayer life and building among us is definitely there for all 3 of us. so what's been loosed in the heavens just needs to be loosed on the earth. i believe that will happen very soon.

new church life- i've finally gotten to get to know some more local families here! thanks to the practical and wise advice of some cousins in texas, i've started to reach out and take a few steps outside of my comfort zone. i'm also a bit closer with some sisters here now- have opened up more, had a chance to pray with them, and have opened up the line of fellowship. i also finally reached out to br. Dave Bekker too- again, just to open up the line of communication for general fellowship. i was in more local saints' homes this past weekend than all of the previous 7 months combined and it's made such a big difference. i've finally gotten it in my head that THIS, Boston/Cambridge, is where I am now, and it's not enough to just be here physically. I need to emotionally, mentally, and spiritually be here 100% as well.

new school- it's been difficult, but BU has been a good (for the most part) experience compared to the other schools I've attended (UCLA, CSULB). the professors here are VERY approachable and obviously supportive. i don't get the feeling that their research is more important than their teaching, and i have never felt like i was keeping a professor from more important things when i stopped in to their office even during non-office hour hours. i think i really do like BU (except that the food selection on campus could be a lot better). i just really need to stay focused and maintain my motivation to be here and to work hard for as long as i am here.

friends?!- well, there are lots of saints here that i see regularly- tuesday nights, friday nights, LD mornings...- notice a pattern?? yeah, i pretty much only see them during the meetings. i mean those times are sweet and i definitely need them, but i'm starting to feel like i don't have any friends here. not that i want to go out all the time or anything, but sometimes i do want to go watch a movie, or check out some restaurant that i read about, or just go hang out somewhere. i went to NY a couple weekends ago and met up with some of my oldest, closest friends. one came up from DC, another from philly, myself from Boston, and we met with 3 friends who were living in NY. we did some fun things, but we also just spent a lot of time at our friends' apartment hanging out, playing video games, and catching up with each others' lives. it was the first time in a long time that i felt like i was with people who really knew and cared for me. so sure, i've made a couple casual friends from school, but no hints of genuine friendship...

in addition to all of the above, there seems to be a flood of health issues related to myself as well as my extended family lately. not really a purging in the physical sense, but definitely emotional and mental. it seems like the bad news just keeps pouring in. it reminds me of my first couple of years at UCLA. i was personally in a lost condition, far from the Lord and from any practical sense. i had little motivation to work hard in school, and all 3 of my remaining grandparents passed away while both of my older siblings got married. of course my siblings' marriages were happy occasions, but for me, the general stress due to all these events just seemed to wear me down. it seemed like it was one thing after another that was going wrong, or that i was losing control of, and i had no mature way of coping with the strain.

now, however, i am SO happy to be able to say that I have a different way of coping with all these problems. it really struck me a few weeks ago when i heard most of the difficult news. i realized that i was able to pray. i could pray with my siblings. i could pray with my parents. even, while on spring break in Austin, sitting down to a texas-sized dinner in willie nelson's BBQ joint, i could pray with my cousins and aunts, interceding on behalf of our other relatives and members of the Body. it was such a sweet realization to have.

and so, even now when i hear heart-breaking news regarding a sibling or cousin or great aunt, i find solace knowing that although these things are out of our control, one thing we can do is pray.

what a mercy to have had this realization, even in the midst of sad news. but for now and forever, even with tears in my eyes, may I always have the boldness to say "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassions and God of all comfort... For even as the sufferings of the Christ abound unto us, so through the Christ our comfort also abounds." Thank You Lord Jesus, for making this a reality to me through every step of Your full salvation.

jack of all trades, master of none

did nicole recently post an entry with that saying? if so, then i apologize for the inadvertent plagiarism, but i've just gotta use it tonight!

i've always been the type of person to start a new project and never finish it. cello lessons, piano lessons, drawing, sewing, writing a song, leaving previous song unfinished and starting a new one, taking up knitting, jewelry-making, planning events, etc...... well, i wouldn't necessarily say that i never finish these projects, but let's just say that they're perennially on-going.

so, instead of barraging myself with sentiments of failure and lack of self-control, i'd like to look at these projects as a long list of things i want to accomplish and, dare i say, master! in no particular order:

artsy fartsy:
- finish knitting these mittens and putting them up for sale on etsy!!

- start & finish knitting baby booties. there are a couple buns in the oven i've got in mind...
- make more jewelry! note to self: work on those templates for aaron to make.


- learn more about photography, to create more personal prints for home decoration.

culinary
- successfully make creme brulee. note to self: need to get a butane torch
- collect more cooking/baking equipment
- take a cake decorating class, using fondant.
- make different cakes from scratch, even experiment with my own creations/recipes
- master beef noodle stew
- master 4-3-2-1 pork chops (mom's style)
- learn to make some simple, basic pastries!
- open up a cafe/pastry shop/chocolate bar/musical venue someday.

events
- take a floral arranging class
- get part-time gig with event-planning company someday

writing/words
- get a book published someday (i've got a couple ideas brewing)
- release a CD with original songs
- learn french & italian

musical
- release a CD with original tunes and my own arrangements
- take cello lessons again
- improve: guitar playing, ukelele playing, piano playing, vocals, harmonica
- pick up: mandolin, banjo, pedal steel
- perform sometime??? (other than church weddings!)
- buy a koa wood Taylor

people i want to meet
- zubin mehta
- brad paisley
- jack johnson
- jimmy buffett

personal/home
this category is more of a dream than a tangible plan
- get a decent apartment in a beach town, preferably sunset beach or belmont shores, with easy commute to great job that's good for the church life and also allows me to travel sometimes, and will one day lead to my contribution in designing a world-renowned concert hall.
- have at least 1.5 baths
- remodel bathrooms remember to use awesome hardware i just picked up at anthropologie for such future purpose:

- remodel kitchen
- experiment with painting and decorating rooms inspired by my art, my favorite colors, and anthropologie stores.
- design my own house someday, after living in my own cute apartment.
- have a great dane.
- sit courtside at a Lakers game!
- sit right behind the Lakers bench at a game!
- go on a musical tour of europe (attend concerts at all the great concert halls)

umm... that's all i can think of for now, but i'm sure there's more... oh, and all this during/after i have a great acoustic consulting job and absolute church life!

too much on my mind

Have you ever had so much on your mind that you couldn't actually concentrate on any one thing? That's how I've been all semester. So here I am, watching the Lord of the Rings- The Return of the King, yet even this one simple pleasure only adds distracting background noise to the already raucous mishmash in my head.

hopefully, all will be put to rest on Wednesday.

even so, it brings up a valid question, really fitting to me right now. as Christians, our only goal is our Lord Himself and His kingdom. but as humans, we have human responsibilities that we need to take care of. in my case, my one, top responsibility right now is to do well in school and to graduate in a timely manner. so then, what am i to do when it seems that no amount of self-control, or even prayer, is helping me devote adequate time and concentration to my studies? how else can i pray? what more do i pray for? do i just try to be as strict as possible with myself? it just never seems good enough.

I know we just cast our anxieties on the Lord, and that He intercedes on our behalf, and that our enjoyment of the Lord should elicit a proper human living, and etc., but what if it's not working?

i guess, all i can do is try my hardest, humanly, and more importantly, trust in the Lord, spiritually.

don't bring shaq baq!

Who remembers the days of:
don't they look so happy together?

And what about:
Ahhhhh the sweet smell of victory permeated southern California for three-peat years. Remember when *everyone* (including that girl who never, ever talked about basketball before) had those Lakers flags on their car windows?

Oh, the memories. Did those memories come gushing back after last weekend's All-Star game when, yup, you guessed it (and I really did predict this):


Well, sports media all over the country is buzzing about the possibility of Shaq coming baq to LA before the pending trade deadline. There were hints and rumors being casually tossed around before the all-star break (when Shaq started playing decent ball again), but after their co-MVP performances in Phoenix on Sunday night, well, it seems like some people are already placing their orders for a purple and gold Shaq jersey.

What's my response to this?

MITCH, DON'T DO IT!! PLEEEEASE!!

Why not? The Lakers have come such a long way since Kobe's trade demands in the summer of '07, they're cruising at the #1 spot in the NBA after big wins over the Celtics and the Cavs (the most likely Eastern conference champs), but with Bynum's recent injury, have the Lakers, once again, lost that extra piece needed to secure an NBA championship?

Maybe. But that's a chance I'm willing to risk. For once, as a Lakers fan, my interest is not in winning at any cost. There is a principle at stake here that is more important to me than just winning. Have people already forgotten how Shaq trash-talked Kobe, and said (even challenged) that Kobe could never win without him? I haven't. In fact, for the last 4 years, that statement has festered within this fan's core. It burned when Shaq won with Miami, and it got worse with every whaq rap that Shaq-Fu came out with.

Okay, okay, okay, I KNOW that Kobe is no saint. I know he has made his share of mistakes and bad decisions, and was not always a great teammate. Let's not even talk about Colorado. But for a player, business is business, and Kobe has never lost sight of that. For me as a fan, I try not to concern myself too much with a player's personal life. All other fans out there should do the same. Are these players getting paid the big, and I mean BIG, bucks to be good people?? Nope. They're getting paid for their abilities to play basketball. Of course I understand that their being in the public eye makes them inevitable role-models to some younger, more impressionable fans, and for that cause, these players should ideally be good people, but face it- you'd be dreaming if you expected professional athletes to be role-model-worthy.

So with that said, I don't respect Shaq as an NBA player because he likes to play us, the fans. He seems more interested in staying in the media's limelight than he is in playing the game he's paid to play. Have you noticed over the last few years, as Shaq's game started to suffer, that he would find ways to get back into the news headlines by coming up with a new rap attaqing Kobe... AGAIN. That bit got old real quick. Unfortunately, Shaq's an old dog that can't learn new tricks... or can he?

He's been doing a good job over the last few weeks by manipulating the media again, in his own interest. Oh, he came out with a statement admitting that all the drama between him and Kobe was... just.. for fun? Actually, he really does respect Kobe and that they're on good terms? I know Kobe put that drama behind him a LONG time ago, but Shaq is NOW 'fessing up to it?? Oh, and how timely is Shaq's great change in heart as Phoenix's head coach gets fired, and the team looks to be falling apart as trade rumors emerge. Then Shaq puts on a great show at the all-star game, and starts kissing up to Kobe, showing that he has finally learned how to play well with others. Even, they play well enough with each other to win co-MVP titles! WOW.

*gag*

Look, I recognize that Shaq could definitely supplement this team in a positive way, and I'm ultimately open to that idea only AFTER Kobe & the Lakers win without Shaq first. It would be unfair to Kobe and unfair to the rest of the team and the fans (who feel the way I do), to bring Shaq baq before another championship. I think Mitch is smart enough to recognize that. I hope you are too.